Waiting

So I still have a significant amount of pain from the surgery (one week ago today) and my belly is REALLY swollen.  By the end of the day, I look about 5 months pregnant.  This causes me great anxiety as I am just generally unable to deal with the fear that it will not go away.  I am a size 4 normally, but there is no way I would be able to fit into any of my pants at this point. 

I also cannot wait to get back to the gym...but honestly I'm pretty unable at this point even if the doc would release me (which he won't),  When the meds start wearing off, I really have some significant pain.  And coughing...literally makes me cry out loud.  Worst pain I have ever felt (clearly I have not have kids).

Sigh..I'm whiney today.  C told me to try to find 3 good things about every day.  Here goes:

1.  My dad and I had a nice discussion about basketball today. 
2.  My bro is fantastic and is really there for me when I need him.
3.  I heard from the ex today.  Even though I can't seem to get over him...I'm trying really hard to get there.