I'm Going To Hurl

Just came home from the store and reached in the fridge for a bottle of water to take my prescription.  Saw a half empty bottle behind some other things, so grabbed it, opened it, and tossed it back. The second it hit my tongue, I proceeded to spray the horrid liquid everywhere.  Turns out one of my brother's spit bottles somehow ended up in the refrigerator.  Despite brushing my teeth for 20 minutes and gargling repeatedly with mouthwash...I feel like I'm going to hurl. 

I used to date a guy who rubbed.  I really didnt think it could get worse than kissing a guy with a dip in.  I WAS WRONG.

My deepest sympathies and prayers for all of those affected by the earthquake and tsunami.

Not much exciting in my neck of the woods.  Looks like tonight will be a night on the couch.  Thinking about making chocolate chip cookies...mostly so I can eat the batter.

Cousin's son's first birthday tomorrow..should take up most of the day.

REALLY looking forward to going out of town next week.  Bff's, sushi, buffet, and basketball...not much more I could ask for!

Sunday Dinner

The bro and I have started a new tradition of trying new recipes on Sundays.  His idea for this week was Sheperd's Pie.  Now, I have never in my life before today eaten Sheperd's Pie.  He had it at his ex-girlfriend's who's mother is apparently an amazing cook.  So I hopped online and found a recipe labeled "easy" and made a list of ingredients we would need.  Since the Ohio State/Wisconsin game was about to start, he ran to the store for us.  I think we were both a little nervous....but the final product was deemed a raving success! He plans on taking it for lunch to work this week.

:)

Eh

I'm going to say the night was eh. Probably a solid B.  Had fun at dinner...and definitely got checked out at the bar.  Thought hot guy was interested...guess not so much.  Drank 6 beers and 3 redbulls.  Home by 1. Fell asleep fairly quickly...then C woke me up at 3:30 wuth a text.  After which he promptly fell asleep.  Its now 6...clearly still up.  Bailing on plans for today...I wasn't exactly dying to go anyway.  The one guy who is interested...just isnt the one.  And although I keep telling him I just want to be friends...and he keeps saying he understands and is ok with that...I'm just not sure I believe him. 

Probably spending the day parked on the couch. 

Roll Out

After far too long, I am going out tonight! Super excited.  I live in a small town...we all know each other, know our pasts, and have preconceived notions about each other.  People here still get married fairly young...(yes i consider marriage at 22/23 young...but then again I'm OLD ;)  Quite honestly that results in a TINY pool of potential suitors.  In fact, I can think of 2 guys I am genuinely interested in: one is my ex and one has a girlfriend.  AWESOME. lol.  But....we shall have fun nonetheless.

Steps Forward

I think for the most part I am really getting there with the recovery.  All this week I've been feeling pretty fab...until today as I have some pain/lumpiness/nausea/stomach upset.  Progress though. 

I called the ex out on being a jerk.  He hasn't gotten back to me.  Whatev.  Trying really hard not to give in and contact him again.

Hung out again with the friend.  I really just don't think its there.  SUCH a nice guy.  Just no butterflies.  Not sure I can live the rest of my life without butterflies.

No Strings Attached

My brother and I saw No Strings Attached tonight.  I LOVED it.  Definitely one of my fav movies.  I laughed out loud (literally) for most of the movie and I am a sucker for sappy endings.  I also identified with Natalie Portman's character a LOT. 

It was nice to get out of thhe house...although I may have pushed a little...my belly hurts and I'm tired...but TOTALLY worth it.

:)

The Gym

I need to get back.  The gym hekps me physically...but so much more mentally and emotionally.  2 hours with my ipod on and my Kindle in hand and I leave a new woman.  Surgery was last Thursday.  I know I'm pushing but I NEED it.  I also am on a mission to lose this weight.  If I don't try, my weight normally hovers around 130.  In high school it was 115, in college 120, and in law school 125.  I'm currently at 134.  Following the breakup when I was pretty much surviving oin wine and the occasionaly hanful of cereal, I got down to 112.  And I LOVED it.  I could't keep my jeans up and I felt totally comfortable in just a beater.  I want that back. 

Something

So I think I need something.  Something to be passionate about.  Something to occupy my time and my mind.  Since the break up, I've used basketball to fill the void.  Everyday for three months (excluding Sundays) I have gotten up, gone to work, worked my game, came home, ate, and went to bed.  This enabled me to avoid most of the thinking that leads me down the wrong road.  Now basketball is finished for awhile, and I'm stuck at home.  Although I'm working from home, my work really doesn't take that much time...and I pretty much am stuck in the house as I'm not allowed to drive post-surgery until mid-March.  So I need something.

Waiting

So I still have a significant amount of pain from the surgery (one week ago today) and my belly is REALLY swollen.  By the end of the day, I look about 5 months pregnant.  This causes me great anxiety as I am just generally unable to deal with the fear that it will not go away.  I am a size 4 normally, but there is no way I would be able to fit into any of my pants at this point. 

I also cannot wait to get back to the gym...but honestly I'm pretty unable at this point even if the doc would release me (which he won't),  When the meds start wearing off, I really have some significant pain.  And coughing...literally makes me cry out loud.  Worst pain I have ever felt (clearly I have not have kids).

Sigh..I'm whiney today.  C told me to try to find 3 good things about every day.  Here goes:

1.  My dad and I had a nice discussion about basketball today. 
2.  My bro is fantastic and is really there for me when I need him.
3.  I heard from the ex today.  Even though I can't seem to get over him...I'm trying really hard to get there.

A New Day

Had a really bad day yesterday...but today is a new day.  Realized C was right about something...I should be enjoying working from home.  Im literally lying in bed working from home...pretty sweet gig.  I get a bunch of vacation...and I definitely don't want to use it being sick.  If I'm going to use vacation...its going to be for something fun!!!!

Just Breathe

Its been far too long.  Just had myomectomy surgery Thursday to remove a fibroid from my stomach.  My bff and former bf C was really there for me the whole time so that was nice.  Major emotional let down to be without him today.  Made me realize how alone I feel.  Everyone keeps telling me to focus on all the good things.  To focus on projects.  So thats the new goal...as soon as I'm able to walk without pain that is!